Beautifully Cruel by J.T. Geissinger
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Uhmmm…. scratches head
Ok, so, I don’t know what to say. I guess I liked the book as a whole, but… Well, yeah… But no.
The storyline follows the fantastical adventures of the most extroverted introvert I’ve ever read in my life: Tru (short for some name I can’t be bothered to remember), the female MC of this book. She works in a diner, and has been eye-shagging a hot dude that comes to the place for the past year.
The apparently-hawt man is Liam, our male MC of course – the wolf, wolfie, dark wolf, or a variation thereof which is mentioned more times than in an actual Werewolf romance (although, wolves haven’t been present in the UK for hundreds of years unfortunately. A sheep would have been a more appropriate endemic animal to the Emerald Island to represent him…).
He’s dangerous. Or so everyone kept saying in between stuttering and nervous sweating.
Did I mention Tru is an introvert?
Anyways, he’s dark and brooding and his eyes flash in cold warnings. He’s so handsome he causes our Tru to brain vomit at their first conversation:
“I meant I’m used to wild places. I’m from one. Little tiny town in Texas in the middle of nowhere where the sky is so blue it’s blinding and the plains stretch out into forever and there’s a million things that can kill you, from tornadoes to scorpions to venomous snakes to your half-blind, half-drunk hillbilly cousin who likes to practice target shooting in his backyard on Sunday after church when the family comes over for lunch and you’re wearing the fake fur coat your granny got you for Christmas that has an unfortunate resemblance to a deer.”
[…] “My mom’s a huge Dolly fan. All her daughters are named after a character in one of Dolly’s movies.”
It sounds even worse out loud. My nerves get the best of me, and I start to babble.
“My oldest sister is Doralee, who was a sassy secretary in Nine to Five. Then there’s Mona, the second oldest, who was named after the madam who ran a brothel called The Chicken Ranch in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I would feel sorry for Mona about that, but honestly, she’s a bit of a pill, very judgmental and self-righteous, so it serves her right to be named after a prostitute. Or maybe she’s self-righteous and judgmental because she’s named after a prostitute? I never thought of that.
“Anyway, then there’s Louisa. She’s another Steel Magnolias character, because that’s my mother’s all-time favorite movie. The name fits because the character was grouchy and short-tempered, and so is my sister.
“Finally, there’s me. Truvy. The baby.” I clear my throat. “I have four brothers, too, but my dad got to name them. Fortunately, he’s not a Dolly fan.”
Did you read all that?
Yeah, me neither.
Liam has no self-control, because he keeps telling himself to stay away from Tru, but always ends up succumbing to his needs. Can’t judge too much about that.
Just a little though.
Tru has also no self-control, but she heroically tries to tell him ‘no’ to a 28-days-long relationship of some sort (his moronic idea, by the way), because… helloooo, he’s dangerous!
But she gets ‘kidnapped’ (by Liam, of course, since he can’t help himself). She’s very angry about it. Who wouldn’t be? Being kept prisoner in a stunning penthouse, great food, security at every door to keep you protected, and amazing sex with a hawt geezer?
Very anger-inducing, indeed.
I send a longing gaze to the nightstand, picturing his skull exploding when my bullet hits his forehead.
Did I mention she’s a painfully-shy introvert?
Liam & Co. seem to have never lived in the human world before, because novel experiences keep happening to them. This is what his driver / ‘brother’ / who-fucking-knows-what-he-actually-is says:
“I mean she gave me lip when I told her to be careful when I dropped you two off earlier. You know when the last time was that someone gave me lip? Never. But she did. Straight up. Told me to go fuck myself in so many words, and did it with a smile.”
gasp She gave you lip?! The horror!
And it happens to Liam too:
In a thoughtful voice, he says, “You hung up on me.” He lifts a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth and eats it, tonguing the spoon as if it’s a woman’s body. As if he’s got his face buried between a pair of spread thighs.
I’ve never seen anything so carnal.
“I…I…”
“No one’s ever done that before,” he says, in that same thoughtful tone. He crooks his wrist and points at me with the spoon. “Except you.”
Ignoring the ridiculous comparison to how he’s eating the ice-cream, this whole situation is shocking. She hung up on him! Woooow. That has neeever happened before.
Did I mention she’s an introvert?
And the ending to the book?
LOL.
I don’t know if I should start laughing.
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